Rhanda
We aren't the normal Histio Family ..We came into the hospital knowing that Anthony had HLH and needed a Bone Marrow Transplant.I think we knew we needed to love this child no matter what the circumstances were and we have trusted God ..The week before Anthony Passed he was becoming sick and I prayed God if Anthony is getting tired it is ok to take him..We will get through this and little did I know that little prayer will stick with me forever because 4 days later I watched my son go into Cardiac arrest and into the arms of Jesus 10 days later.He has touched more people in his little 2.5 years on this earth than I have in 40 years. Yes it is hard everyday without him but I know that he is in no more pain and that I will see him again.I hold onto every moment we had with Anthony and treasure it and Thank God for them. Do I have regrets...Yes but thats ok..We aren't perfect here on Earth but I am sure that Anthony knows we did what was best for him.I miss Anthony and he will always have a piece of my heart.


Kim Crow-Nicol 2:42pm Feb 8
I lost my Joe on October 19th last year. He was 18 months old. I did have some regrets too but I worked through most of them. My regrets were things like Joe was always sick and did not get to do the things we take for granted like bubble baths and playing on swing sets. He was always in some sort of pain through his short life. I regret that it took so long to get a diagnosis for him and that he had to endure all the treatments. To get past it I changed the way I was thinking. Now I just tell myself that everything we went through was part of the journey that was meant for us to take together. I really believe all that happened was to make us grow and it was Joe’s gift to us. He opened our eyes to how wonderful people can be and how valuable every moment we have is. I learned life is a gift, we don’t know how long we will have it and every moment is precious. In a short 18 months that baby boy turned my life upside down, inside out and helped me find my faith again. Now I think of him as pain free and enjoying all the things he couldn’t before. I know someday I will see Joe in heaven when it is my turn to join him but until then I will miss him terribly. Do your best to focus on the little bits of joy you can find. At first it feels like you have a huge hole in your chest and heart and that you will never experience joy again but don’t worry, you will.

Beckah Larsson Wish I could do something for you :-( ♥ ♥ hugs
February 8 at 11:49am · Like
Diane Davis Hobart Haley, You are still so early on in your grief and I think everything you are feeling is "normal". I'm 20 months out from the loss of my angel and I still have guilt and regrets, but you eventually find a way to deal with and accept them.....See More
February 8 at 12:06pm · Like · 2 people
Augie Grabenstein ‎*hugs* Haley.
February 8 at 12:28pm · Like
Tammy Swayngim Zimmermann Haley, always praying for you, your husband and children. I cannot imagine the pain. I have a very dear friend who lost a child two years ago this past January. I asked her one day what is the best advise in talking to someone who has lost a child. Her answer was simply to be there, listen and pray for them. We are all here for you in you need us for anything and always praying. xo
February 8 at 12:56pm · Like
Kelly Carter Née Willoughby Haley, I know exactly how you feel. We are nearly 7 months on since Bubby's death and I still feel terribly guilty about the treatment we put her through. I feel as though we were complicit in her torture. My counsellor tries to reason w...See More
February 8 at 12:59pm · Like
Vanessa Leeson Ben died 18months ago. I still struggle with the guilt that genetically his HLH was my fault. he had XLP where the fault is on the x chromosome and passed from mother to son. I know that i didn't know about the gene fault but sometimes a ju...See More
February 8 at 1:12pm · Like
Terry Bourg My heart breaks for your losses. I am so sorry. No parent should EVER have to feel the anguish of losing their child! We really need a cure.
February 8 at 1:48pm · Like
Megan Slusser Towne As a loving mom, you have to know that you made the best, loving decisions that you could at the time. You will always love your baby and she will always be with you. I cannot imagine your pain and loss, but I will always pray for you and your family. One minute, one day, one breath at a time. Hugs, love, and prayers from AZ!
February 8 at 2:40pm · Like
Kim Crow-Nicol I lost my Joe on October 19th last year. He was 18 months old. I did have some regrets too but I worked through most of them. My regrets were things like Joe was always sick and did not get to do the things we take for granted like bubble b...See More
February 8 at 3:42pm · Like · 2 people
Keena Argo Ortiz I just wanted to send prayers and hugs your way. I wish there was something I could do/say to make you feel no guilt or regrets. (((hugs))))
February 8 at 4:11pm · Like
Rhonda James We aren't the normal Histio Family ..We came into the hospital knowing that Anthony had HLH and needed a Bone Marrow Transplant.I think we knew we needed to love this child no matter what the circumstances were and we have trusted God ..The...See More
February 8 at 4:22pm · Like
Jackie Hodge Haley I can't imagine the grief....but know that we are sending lots of prayers your way! Hugs to you and your family!
February 8 at 5:13pm · Like
Carmela Degiovanni Witt To ALL you wonderful histio moms that have lost your precious Babies...My heart goes out to you and my thoughts and prayers are with you always. Although they say Time heals a broken heart...I can't even begin to imagine, How time can heal the lost of a Child. God Bless you All!!
February 8 at 5:40pm · Like · 2 people
Beth Damis I would love to offer you more but I think you just happen to be in one of the many stages of grief. You can't blame yourself or play the what if game. You did whatever you could with the knowledge you and the Doctors had. It
February 8 at 9:56pm · Like
Beth Damis It's not fair, it's not just, and your baby should still be with you and you should grieve your loss but please don't blame yourself.
February 8 at 9:57pm · Like
Beth Damis I wish I could give you more-you deserve much more-I'm so very sorry for you loss and I can't imagine the pain you are feeling
February 8 at 9:58pm · Like
Lorraine Holbrook Haley, my heart goes out to you. What you are feeling is a normal part of grief but I want to stress that you have nothing to feel guilty for. You made the best decisions you could, provided and gave the best care possible, you were a gre...See More
February 9 at 1:26am · Like
April Haskins- Henderson sending my love to all of you..
February 9 at 5:12am · Like
Bobbi Matty Kaufman My heart goes out to you for all that you've had to go through and the precious angel you lost. Do not feel guilty about anything. You have done the best you can do as a parent and have relied upon God's help and love in your life, which is...See More
February 9 at 5:39am · Like
Tiffiney Tackett The fact that you feel like you have regret and guilt says how much of a wonderful parent you are! I think what you are feeling is normal not that makes it any easier, but I can tell from all your posts and comments and stories you are a wonderful parent who loves your family and you have nothing to be guilty or regretful for! Hugs your way!
February 9 at 10:22pm · Like
Tammy Thomas Gonzalez Haley, my heart goes out to you. Our daughter Chloe passed away 11 years ago, and I still feel the guilt at times. But as others here have reminded you, you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at each step along the way. Yo...See More
February 9 at 11:20pm · Like
Sharon Danners Haley, I know how you feel darlin,,as a grandmother to Angel ^^Aamari^^, I have felt the guilt too,,could we have tried something more, did we clean everything the best we could, should we have taken him for that walk down the hall,,it haun...See More
February 10 at 9:30am · Like

Diane Davis Hobart 11:06am Feb 8
Haley, You are still so early on in your grief and I think everything you are feeling is "normal". I'm 20 months out from the loss of my angel and I still have guilt and regrets, but you eventually find a way to deal with and accept them....because what other option do we have? They will always be our beautiful angels and it hurts like hell that we will never have them here to hold again. I pray that you will find some acceptance as time goes on. I know Karleigh is pain free and in a good place, but honestly, is there really a better place than right here in her mommy and daddy's arms?? I don't think so!! Your Ari will always be a part of you and always be in your heart!

don't quit

don't quit when the tide is lowest, for it's just about to turn; Don't quit over douts and questions, for there's somthing you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest, for it's just a while til dawn; Don't quit when youv'e run the farthest, for the race is almost won. don't quit when the hill is steepest, For your goal is almost nigh; Don't quit, for you're not a failure Until you fail to try.